Loneliness
I woke up in the morning feeling so down, I cannot even begin to describe it. A deep and profound sense of helplessness and despair was just hovering over me. I slumped back into bed, and just gave in to the feeling that began to overpower me...tears of sadness just trickled down my cheeks, and my silent sniffles eventually gave way to sobs. I wished I could just curl up into a ball and disappear..Signs have been showing me that i have to relinquish certain things that have been weighing me down, making me sad. How could I be so blind and stupid as not to see...
I needed to find my balance again, and there's only one way to do it:
I just let the whole emotion take control over me, i needed to get to the bottom of this all engulfing emotion which i have been bottling up for so long. I needed to feel and understand what it is that i am grieving so deeply about.
Grieving...hmm now that’s a clue..Somehow, i needed to get to my state of balance again, but what is this that is not allowing me to do that. I began to feel the deep sense of something terribly unpleasant bubbling up inside me..something which gave out this deafening high pitched whistling sound only audible to my ears...the kind of sound that penetrates so deep to the very quick of me..was it my ears that was the audience to this play of sound? can my heart hear?..does the heart have such faculties...LONELINESS...yes..It's you, isn't it..rearing your ugly head trying to grip and throw me off balance out of the ring just like a Sumo Wrestler. I am just completely sprawled and bruised all over, outside the ring of balance of course. I needed to get up, wipe off the dirt, and most of all heal the bruises of humiliation and rebuild my hope that there is still love left for me. ......
I needed to find my balance again, and there's only one way to do it:
I just let the whole emotion take control over me, i needed to get to the bottom of this all engulfing emotion which i have been bottling up for so long. I needed to feel and understand what it is that i am grieving so deeply about.
Grieving...hmm now that’s a clue..Somehow, i needed to get to my state of balance again, but what is this that is not allowing me to do that. I began to feel the deep sense of something terribly unpleasant bubbling up inside me..something which gave out this deafening high pitched whistling sound only audible to my ears...the kind of sound that penetrates so deep to the very quick of me..was it my ears that was the audience to this play of sound? can my heart hear?..does the heart have such faculties...LONELINESS...yes..It's you, isn't it..rearing your ugly head trying to grip and throw me off balance out of the ring just like a Sumo Wrestler. I am just completely sprawled and bruised all over, outside the ring of balance of course. I needed to get up, wipe off the dirt, and most of all heal the bruises of humiliation and rebuild my hope that there is still love left for me. ......
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